Crafting Your Ethical Will: A Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving a Meaningful Legacy

Introduction

For the past few years I’ve been asked by different nonprofit organizations to come and share with their donors about how to create wise decisions with their estate plans. I love getting to talk about estate planning with folks because I believe it helps us get to the heart of our values and beliefs about money and leaving a legacy.

For nearly a decade now I’ve been deeply influenced by Simon Sinek, a popular organizational thinker. He gave a wonderful Ted Talk years ago that spoke about the importance of understanding, crafting, and communicating your “why”. Here’s a link to that talk. I’ve applied much of this thinking to my financial planning business. I think it’s vital to start our financial plans by communicating our beliefs and then deciding our next steps and making tactical decisions to achieve goals.

If you want a powerful 4 minute example of Simon Sinek’s thinking, here’s a great video that shows the power of infusing purpose into music. I believe the same can be true for our relationship with money.

As I talk to families about their estate plans, I encourage everyone to create something called an ethical will. An ethical will is a personal document that communicates your values, beliefs, and life lessons to future generations. Unlike a legal will, which deals with the distribution of assets, an ethical will is a heartfelt expression of your moral and spiritual ideals. Here, I provide a step-by-step guide to crafting an ethical will that captures your essence and serves as a cherished keepsake for those you leave behind.

Step 1: Reflect on Your Values and Beliefs

Before you begin writing, take some time to reflect on your life experiences and the values that have shaped you. What are the core beliefs that have guided your decisions and actions? What lessons have you learned along the way? Consider the challenges you've faced and how they've helped you grow. Think about the people who have influenced you and the impact they've had on your life. Think about the way you built your estate and the jobs you had that helped you earn your money along the way. Make a list of these values, beliefs, and lessons to serve as the foundation of your ethical will.

Step 2: Choose Your Audience

An ethical will is a personal message intended for specific individuals, such as family members, friends, or mentors. Decide who you want to address in your ethical will and why. You might choose to write a general message for all your loved ones or create separate documents for different recipients. Knowing your audience will help you tailor your message to resonate with the people who matter most to you.

Step 3: Organize Your Thoughts

Once you've identified your core values and beliefs and chosen your audience, it's time to organize your thoughts. You may want to structure your ethical will around certain themes or life stages, such as childhood, education, career, relationships, or community involvement. Alternatively, you could organize your message by value, discussing how each principle has shaped your life and the importance of passing it on to future generations. Creating an outline can help you clarify your thoughts and ensure that your ethical will is well-organized and cohesive.

Step 4: Write Your Ethical Will

With your values, audience, and structure in mind, begin writing your ethical will. Use clear, concise language and aim for a conversational tone that reflects your true voice. Remember, this is a personal document, so feel free to include anecdotes, memories, and stories that illustrate your values and beliefs. Be honest and authentic, but also consider the feelings of your recipients. Your ethical will should be a source of comfort and inspiration, not a platform for airing grievances or settling scores.

Step 5: Review and Revise

After completing your first draft, take a break and return to your ethical will with fresh eyes. Read it aloud to ensure that it flows well and accurately conveys your message. Ask yourself if your values, beliefs, and life lessons are clearly expressed and if any important elements have been omitted. You may want to share your ethical will with a trusted friend or family member for feedback and suggestions. Be prepared to revise and refine your document until it captures your essence and serves as a fitting testament to your life and legacy.

Step 6: Share Your Ethical Will

Once you're satisfied with your ethical will, decide how and when you'd like to share it with your loved ones. Some people choose to share their ethical will while they're still alive, while others prefer to have it read or distributed after their passing. Consider your personal preferences and the impact your ethical will may have on your recipients. You may want to discuss your intentions with a lawyer, who can help you include your ethical will in your estate planning documents and ensure that your wishes are carried out.

Step 7: Use the Ethical Will to inform your Estate Plans

As you consider who, what, and where you would like the proceeds from your estate to go should you die, let this document guide those decisions. Now that you’ve articulated your why and your purpose, it should be a helpful framework to simplify your estate plans. If your values indicate your love for family or non-profit organizations, then let those values guide how you decide who should receive a portion of your estate.

Conclusion

Crafting an ethical will is a deeply personal and rewarding process that allows you to leave a meaningful legacy for your loved ones. By reflecting on your values, beliefs, and life lessons, you can create a document that not only captures your essence but also serves as a source of comfort and inspiration for future generations.

To make the most of your ethical will, consider revisiting it periodically to update or revise it as your life experiences and perspectives evolve. Your ethical will is a living testament to your journey and can grow and change with you over time.